my life as of late? busy and yet incredibly boring really, in an all consuming sort of way. i was always frustrated in high school and to some degree college by the amount of trite busywork that most of the classes required. well, being that i’m working entirely freelance  at the moment, juggling photography, graphic design and modeling, i find that while many of these endeavors have some creative element, the lion’s share of my time is spent in busywork, working more for a client than myself.

things i’ve really become a fan of recently: the room 5, a neat little acoustic venue in LA. the following tv shows: Mad Men, Kings (sadly, canceled), Castle, White Collar, Trauma. Continuing favorites? Lie To Me, Sons of Anarchy, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, etc. Jeez, maybe my problem is too much TV. that said, i’ve become a real sucker for the continuing character arcs and story lines the format has to offer vs. film.

moving along… i’m building up my photography book, trying to get ready for this festival in the desert in the spring. i’ll probably read this come april and think, “oh yeah, that festival…”, but for the moment, it’s a nice goal. it’s funny, i like photography, i think it’s something that comes to me far more easily than music, and i enjoy the process, but i rarely have that long lasting, smiling for days happiness that songwriting gives me. for example, right now, i’d love to go write a song (the neighbors would probably have the cops come given that i write on an old baldwin piano). for photography, i generally get excited once i start seeing the shots, not well before. not sure what that means, but it’s a definite difference…

i really miss saul. i’ve been remembering different times we had and i wish he was still here. can’t believe it’s been a year almost to the day since he passed.

i don’t know where i’ll be in the coming months, years, etc. i guess i’m just enjoying the ride, and all i can hope for is happiness and good health, to be able to see each day come and go and appreciate them. there’s nothing worse that having a day close and saying “i didn’t do anything”. if only with small steps, i hope that each day i’ll do something that i love, that takes me closer to the destination that is my dream. there, that’s my new year’s resolution. i’m really jumping the gun but hey, i’ve got deadlines to meet.

until next time,

j.

nothing replaces a glance.

stepping stones… high school graduation. moving to california. college. significant moments in my life, on paper, but really meaningless without the stories and friendships that lie underneath. first loves, and more importantly, second loves and learning to love again. finding a friend that feels comfortable enough to cry in your arms, and knowing that when the world falls around you, you have someone to call.

i’m left with an incredible memory of a man who loved me like a son, and when i think of him, i’m crushed, literally crushed, knowing i’ll never have the chance to see him again. he taught me so much and i loved him so much that i didn’t know a loss like this was possible. but what brings me great comfort is knowing that someone felt i was enough to care for, enough of something. even if i spend the rest of my life searching for what that enough is… i know that he cared. and i know that he’s proud of me right now. so when the world is piercing me, stabbing me, pulling me under the water and suffocating me, i know that he cared. and that… that’s enough.

this is the code for the player (copy and paste onto your accounts!):
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if you guys have time, add it to your pages on Facebook, MySpace, WordPress/Blogger, etc.

Show support, I’d really appreciate it!

ladies and gentleman, lyle divinsky:

http://skidmore.magnify.net/video/Portrait-of-an-Artist-Part-II-L

http://www.myspace.com/lyledivinsky

The City Where The Sirens Never Sleep

interesting characters, gritty setting, heartbreaking story. sadly, it’s not fiction.

Oscar Wilde.

long story short, it’s amazing.